15 Comments
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Luke DeLalio's avatar

I don’t know what to say... this is good. The patois rings true.

Jimmy Doom's avatar

Thanks. That’s the natural patterns, phrasings and rhythms of people I spent a lot of time around. That kind of dialect fascinated Elmore Leonard. He was tuned to it. I’m actually from it.

Karlyn's avatar

That last word-Maybe-so true! Loving these most recent stories Jimmy! Thanks for the in-depth thinking and just enjoyment as a reader.

Jimmy Doom's avatar

“Maybe” was a tough but ultimately correct choice to end that one. Anything else would have been an overly ornate bow on an ugly gift.

lou J's avatar

So true

Paul R's avatar

Very poignant. I can almost taste the desperation.

lou J's avatar

That is a doozy. Once again, your sense of detail is astonishing. And your understanding of humanity is…. on the edge of overwhelming.

Robert M Savage, Jr's avatar

Powerful stuff, James.

Jimmy Doom's avatar

I might be overdue for a funny one. Today’s isn’t funny, but I’ll try to bang one out soon.

Mickey Crow's avatar

Well done, Jimmy.

Good meeting you last night before E & TBM.

Took your advice and started a stack.

Jimmy Doom's avatar

Excellent! Please read Grandmaster when you get a chance. Looking forward to reading your stuff

Patris's avatar

….i may sound crazy but this was as close to a Shakespearean play as I’ve read in months..

Jesse Gleim Writer's avatar

Darkly beautiful story, Jimmy. Love the "jive" this is written in and it's something I've been experimenting with in works of my own recently (which might go up on Substack eventually). Perfectly captured the everyday despair of life. I look forward to reading more of your work!

Jimmy Doom's avatar

I was lucky enough to get a few face to face writing hints from Elmore Leonard. Writing in authentic voice was one of those hints.

Jesse Gleim Writer's avatar

Very nice and good advice! I learned about writing in dialects originally from reading Irvine Welsh, who’s books are written in his native Edinburgh Scottish accent. Now I watch interviews and such and try to pay attention to the inflections, slang, and word choices to better capture different dialects in my own work.