22 Comments
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Jeff Kinnard's avatar

Great story! I was worried it was leading to something more sinister when the four horseman of the apocalypse reference showed up.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

That was on purpose. Glad it worked.

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Joe's avatar

It is a great story.

Thoughtful on so many levels.

The whale breaching was so apropos.

As is the punch line.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I may need to move away from thoughtful and inject more mayhem. 🥸

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Joe's avatar

You wish to become predictable???

The Hallmark Channel is hiring.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

They probably aren't hiring, actually

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V Moire's avatar

So very good.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Thank you. It was fun to write. Not "amusement park" fun, but I felt strongly connected to the characters

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Jim Cummings's avatar

Great story. All intentions were good but some much better than others.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

It's fascinating to thrust two very different people together. It should be a regular prompt.

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Bill Adler's avatar

Love this! The dialogue totally enthralled me.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

In a fluke last night I met a couple connected to Elmore Leonard and we talked about his influence on dialogue ( mine and in general)

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Jim Latham's avatar

Another nice one JD

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Thanks Jim. Can't slack off coming up on 3 years. I hope.

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Ben Woestenburg's avatar

Excellent. I love how the dialogue moves the story along. Perfect.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Isn't that supposed to be frowned upon? I think I read that somewhere. Obviously I don't care if it's frowned upon, and I'm thrilled you like the story.

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Ben Woestenburg's avatar

Thank God nobody told ME that! I think the use of dialogue to move a story along is the best way...to move the story along. I do it all the time.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I love it. Writing rules remind me of dating rules. If you followed them all to the letter there would be no writing or dating.

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Ben Woestenburg's avatar

I've never been one to follow the rules, so why would it be different with my writing? I write long fiction, rather than short fiction, because that's what I enjoy writing. I have to break the stories up because who wants to read a novella-length story when you don't have the time? But longer stories give you more time to create the characters you want. So, rules be damned, I say!

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I write novels too. Well one so far, unpublished, working on another and I have shards of other ones strewn about.

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Patrick K.'s avatar

"What do I look like?" Brilliant.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

That line wrote itself. I've heard people say it hundreds of times.

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