Worst thing that ever happened to my cousin was the best thing he ever did.
My Uncle and Aunt were shithouse poor, and they were embarrassed by it, so they named my cousin Chauncey Wellington Mitziak, cuz they thought it sounded like a rich person’s name and he might grow into it. Or something.
Then my dad, one afternoon at a Fourth of July cookout, same one my brother burned his eye real bad on a sparkler, he thought it would be funny to give Chauncey some chew.
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