There was always some bullshit, from Aunt Greta getting hit by the Xochimilco taco truck on her graduation day, to Sherry Lewsin and Frank Albright winning the swing dance competition over her and Jeff Scotchworth at Buck’s because Sherry wasn't wearing underwear.
It was bullshit, and she let them know it was bullshit,even though Lizzie Horan knew she embarrassed herself breaking her wrist pounding on the judge’s table screaming “ she can't dance, you bastards voted for her cooch.”
Then it was bullshit when she hired in at Konker, just like everyone in her family, and Konker moved the plant to Singapore four years later…
Lizzie saw these things like a too bright slide show, and she was cold.
She realized her head was in the walk-in beer cooler and everything was bright, and she had just begged Marcus for this overtime, because working at a convenience store with no overtime was bullshit, and it was all bullshit, and she was cold, too cold, was this shock, or was this death?
She had kissed Marcus on the cheek when he finally gave her the overtime, and that overtime was now, and there is a panic button under the counter,she was working the overtime she begged for when the guy walked in with the cane, smashed the security cam…fuck it was cold…then pushed Lizzie back past the cheese corn and the soft pretzels and she thought he was gonna rape her in the beer cooler, so she fought back…and fuck it was cold, but she was sweating too, and the blood was coming from her shoulder, she was shot in the shoulder, and this voice, her, younger, annoyed with herself said “ you can walk Lizzie, you're just scared” and when she stood, she wobbled, but she made it to the panic button. The Castalar County Sheriff's Department would be there in a minute, Marcus always said.
Lizzie put her head down on the counter, then fell back to the floor.
She couldn't remember what the guy looked like, she couldn't remember, but there was blood, and pain, and cold, especially blood, so the Castalar County Sheriff…shit, Norm, and Bobby, and that Asian dude with the lip scar…one of em would be there…she needed an ambulance too…because she was shot…and she was glad it was in her shoulder…because Lizzie was late for her shift today and she wasn't wearing any underwear…
Then the Asian sheriff, Andy, that was his name, Andy, he was kneeling over her, telling her she was really lucky, because it was a graze wound, the bullet wasn't in her, and when Lizzie heard the word lucky she thought it was bullshit.
***
Scary ain't bullshit.
Personally, I'm thankful for a miss, but a graze is better than a hole, and living to breathe another day is something everyone can be thankful for.
You’re flannery O’Conner-ing me here again. J., this is what I mean when I say you have me watching from inside that convenience store in the cold light they’re always lit with, worried about Lizzie..