20 Comments
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Brad Stabler's avatar

I sense you are channeling some "New Detroiters living in exile in Hamtramck" vibes...by which I mean rage.

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Reuben Salsa's avatar

Interesting. I feel theres possibly too many descriptive names floating about. It makes it a little difficult to follow. On saying that, I do love the names and think they're very clever but in this instance it interrupts the flow.

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Reuben Salsa's avatar

Mouth Only Table Tennis Tournament, or Modest Mouse Still Sucks, stuff like that.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Modest Mouse Still Sucks as a tattoo was staying no matter what. In Detroit, impulsive rudimentary ink from " scratcher", amateur tattoo artists is an epidemic

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I could have gone overboard, but I wasn't feeling restrained. And to be honest, I didn't give it a solid " flow" read.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

I would love to comment on this story, Jimmy, but where would I begin? You have put my brains through an Osterizer set on pulverize. I can't help wondering, though, am I too damn old to begin working toward earning a Smutter?

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

No one can ever have a full Smutter.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

All right, then, good to know! I am capable of rising to low expectations.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Smutter is way cooler by the fraction anyway. Like pie and jail sentences

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Stefanie Schimpff's avatar

This feels like a scene from Portlandia

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

That's a huge compliment. Sometimes, in certain places, Detroit feels like a scene from Portlandia. We haven't devolved into Portlandia yet, but you see glimpses.

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

We would probably have to go down river for that kind of feel, although Eastpointe and Roseville give the vibe from time to time. Detroit has changed so much in the last decade it's hard to tell where it lands.

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Joe's avatar

Between the similes and the thesaurus, the cleaving just got cleaved.

After reading this one, I feel like Statler and Waldorf.

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Carol Angel's avatar

Crazy man!

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V. C. Ackerman's avatar

“But now we’re only making like.” That’s so funny.

I tried looking up Oink because the idea of everyone having to sacrifice one eye to save the planet was pretty interesting, but I don’t think I found it so I’m not sure it actually exists. If it doesn’t exist, you should definitely write a story based on that premise.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I made it all up

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Thomas De Moor's avatar

Enjoyed the read! And at least the glitter was biodegradable.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Thanks Thomas. Biodegradable Glitter should be the name of a chain of live band karaoke bands

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Thomas De Moor's avatar

You take that one, I'll take "The Glitter is Mauve".

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

That's the shoegaze version of the same band

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