How to Build a Quiet Kid

Speaking and Listening

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

I told Rico Aguilar I wanted to be a cosmonaut, and he told me I was American, so I had to be an astronaut. I told him cosmonaut sounded cooler than astronaut, so I wanted to be one of those, and he told me that cosmo had something to do with being communist, and his dad hated communists, so I better try to be an astronaut.

I told Rico I didn’t know what communist meant, and I didn’t know his dad, but I saw his mom pissing behind the softball field once, and Rico punched me and fatted my lip.

I went home and my mom freaked out over my fatted lip and fussed over me.

I asked her how Rico’s mom could piss without a dick and my mom stopped fussing and grounded me for two days, in my room, no TV.

She brought plain buttered noodles to my room, which is what she always made when I was grounded and told me I shouldn’t fight or watch people urinate.

I thought urinate sounded cooler than piss, so I decided I would use that word from then on, after I got off grounding.

I wondered if Rico would have punched me if I said I saw his mom urinate, because he seemed so interested in words.

The next day at school we heard that President Reagan got shot and when I got home my mom made me watch TV instead of being grounded from it.

I still didn’t understand how someone could piss without a dick, why I couldn’t be a cosmonaut, and why my mom wanted me to watch a bunch of people get shot, even if one was the President.

Back at school on Tuesday Lydia Rommeldt asked me if I was still grounded from the TV, and I told her my mom let me watch the president get assassinated.

Rico Aguilar laughed at me, and told me the president didn’t get assassinated, because he didn’t die,so he just got shot.

I put my head down, and decided not to take the word urinate for a spin.

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