I Am the Pirate

Flash Fiction

I am the pirate.

I am the pirate with the impenetrable black beard,

I am the pirate, a  silent parrot perched on my epaulet, staring, seemingly mesmerized by my jeweled eye patch.

I am the pirate, my cutlass hangs from my belt.

I am the pirate, incapable of even simple plunder.

There are those who say pirates no longer have a place in the world.

I’ve felt that way myself, pulling on boots that hurt my feet and provide little protection from the elements.

My father was the pirate, and my grandfather too, walking the planks of the small boardwalk in front of Don’s Dairy Schooner.

Don is long gone, my grandfather’s best friend and confidante, who built the little ice cream shop himself.

Being the pirate at the Schooner was my father’s first job, and he kept it no matter what he did until he handed it off to me.

You are the pirate, he said, and loved it, for over twenty years, no matter what else in life I did.

A hospitality company bought the place from Don’s niece.

They upgraded the sign, they changed the menu a little, and they told the pirate his days at the Schooner were done.

I am the pirate, and their decision made me sad.

I stopped by the cemetery to tell my grandfather, thought about hanging the pirate hat on the Maltese cross on top of his headstone.

I am the pirate.

I liked the kids, the laughs, the victorious little league teams, and the rare marriage proposal or two.

I didn’t know a pirate with a foam rubber cutlass could cause so much outrage.

The emails to the newspaper were stunning in their emotion and eloquence.

I was moved.

The hospitality company was not.

I thought seriously about removing the little parrot from the costume and dangling him from my rearview mirror.

The mayor called me.

He is not a man I voted for or particularly liked.

But he had a message for me.

There was no zoning board when old Don built the boardwalk in front of Don’s Dairy Schooner.

It is, and always has been, on city property.

The pirate, the mayor said, belongs to the people.

And I am the pirate.

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