Secondhand Smoke

A Kid Under a Microscope

Did I ever have disturbing thoughts? Like what? What do you mean?

Was I a normal kid? I dunno. I  mean…I’m ambidextrous, that’s kinda weird.

My baby toe on my left foot is way longer than the one on my right and longer than the pinkie toe-even the longest toe- of every guy on the St. Mary’s soccer team.

That’s what I used to get teased for. I laughed. I know it’s weird, but not…

I don’t play anymore. Soccer I mean. Anything really.

My thoughts never scared me, I guess. I mean, I’m not sure exactly what you’re asking. I’m different kinda, but…

I like hip-hop and my friends mostly listen to metal, but like…that’s just a difference of musical taste. I like metal too, sometimes.

It used to frustrate me when my dad wouldn’t let me work for his landscaping company. I know some kids who don’t wanna work, but I did.

He always had an excuse, but I didn’t know, ya know?

I wanna make it clear. I had no clue. 

I wanted to work for my dad because it was outside, right, and he always had this badass tan…and… I wanted the money too. Doesn’t everybody want money? I thought that’s what the long hours he worked were for. Money. He said it sometimes. ‘To provide for the family ’ or some shit like that. Sorry for swearing. 

My uncle tells me stories about life before the internet. He was in a band, he has great stories, and I know he’s just trying to entertain me, but…

Like would my life be different if there was no internet?

I guess.

I mean the comments…there wouldn’t be so many. So quick.

She’s got a new boyfriend, already. My mom, I mean. I hope she fucking…sorry…I hope she marries him. I’ll take his name, his last name. I can do that, right, if they get married before I turn 18?