13 Comments
User's avatar
Patrick K.'s avatar

Good one. Nice tension build. Chickie needs to trip over a curb.

Jimmy Doom's avatar

Thanks. Working on tension building as I get closer to another push on the novel.

Mez Mesrey's avatar

C’mon, Pete!

Nick Winney's avatar

it!'s got your name all over it this one. Thanks Jimmy. 😎

Mickey Crow's avatar

Nice tension, Jimmy. Casinos make me feel cold and a little sick with the desperation that permeates, but I used to love going to the track on Dequindre. Go figure.

Jimmy Doom's avatar

Track is different because you gotta wait for the horses and drivers/jockeys to be ready. 12-15 races. Finite. People can yank or tap on slots all day and night long

lou J's avatar

Must be my good mood or something because my funny bone got so much tickling on my way through this, not because anything’s funny really, but because you are such a wizard for detail. And then, just like that, I too want to push someone in front of a bus and buy a winning ticket for someone else.

Jimmy Doom's avatar

I’m happy when someone is laughing. Thanks Lou!

Jim Ruland's avatar

Max bet is the only way to fly

Jimmy Doom's avatar

If you walk em down a bit that seems to loosen ‘em up. But I’m not much of a slot guy. I just hit the slots to give my mind a break between rounds of roulette.

Jim Ruland's avatar

The outcome is determined before the wheels start to spin.

bd miller's avatar

Nice one, Jimmy. It's already been said but I concur, good tension building and well developed characters.

Jimmy Doom's avatar

Thanks. Working on pulling the tension wires a little tighter in most of my stuff.