The Dead Sea Scrolls

Flash Fiction

Courtney and Zak tumbled down the relationship stairs of co-workers, friends, fuck buddies, and hit the cold linoleum of live-in-lovers when Zak got evicted and moved in with five boxes of stuff and a turtle named Greg Dulli.

Courtney’s studio was in the hippest part of town but was cramped, borderline hoardy, and she had drunkenly said yes to Zak moving in without taking the turtle tank into consideration.

Zak was moving books off a shelf for the tank when he froze in an awkward pose.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Nightcourt,” he said, calling her a nickname she didn’t particularly love.

Courtney put her phone down and looked.

Zak was holding her Bible.

“What could this be doing here, King Arthur’s Court, you are like the most evangelical atheist I’ve ever met. You’re hiding a very well worn Bible here. This thing has been read some, looks like to me…”

“That’s my lucky bible.”

Zak eased out of his frozen position and laughed, a real Zak laugh that Courtney had guessed, correctly, would probably peel her panties one day.

“And how does an atheist have a bible as a good luck charm?”

“Look at the back cover.”

Zak flipped the bible over. There was a deep circular hole in the thick black back cover that extended all the way through to the pages to Exodus.

“Looks like a .22 made that hole.”

“Sure did,” Courtney said. “That’s why it’s my lucky Bible.”

 Zak set the bible down and dropped, rather awkwardly, into a Lotus position on Courtney’s floor.

“Are you gonna tell me, Homecoming Court, that in all the time we’ve been together, you never told me the story of a Bible protecting you from a gunshot?”

“Not me, “ Courtney said. “My grandma.”

 Zak clenched his teeth. “Ok, you never told me that a lucky Bible protected your grandma from a bullet.”

“Nooo,” Courtney said, “that’s not the story either.”

Zack cocked his head like a dog by a door wondering if it would be let out to poop.

“My grandfather had a high stakes poker game in his basement. My grandma, naive country girl that she was, thought it was a bridge club. When she found out they were gambling, she went downstairs waving the bible, telling my grandpa and his friends she called the cops. One of the gamblers panicked and opened fire.”

“And that thick ass bible saved your grandma’s life.”

“No the other five bullets hit her in the face and killed her. I inherited thirty grand from her. That’s why it’s my lucky bible.”

***

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash