Dotty slid into the seat at her cubicle, popped two aspirin, chased it with some new bottled ginseng tea she spent too much money on, and booted up her computer.
Nicole sat down next to her.
She must have gotten new perfume for Christmas, her kids must have picked it out, and she must have applied it with a power washer.
Dotty regretted thinking that, but…
“How was Christmas, Dee?”
Of all the obvious things Nicole could have asked, this was the one she least wanted to answer truthfully.
“It was fine.”
“Dorothy, you have bags under your eyes that Coach could place a logo on. Tell me a story.”
“It’s complicated.”
“Katherine never expects a lot of production the day after Christmas. We have time. Tell me ‘complicated’.I’m concerned.”
Dotty took a breath, wished she had something stronger than aspirin, looked at Nicole, and decided it would be easier to just tell her rather than dance around it.
“A while back, my son and my dad made a deal. Kenny would learn to play chess if my Dad would learn to play this game Kenny’s obsessed with.”
“That sounds like a lovely deal.”
Dotty looked down at her shoes.
“Well, it started off great. My dad got Kenny a Star Wars-themed chess set, which he was enthralled with, and my dad taught him the basics, then they played best out of three. My dad took it easy on Kenny to teach him, but he won two in a row.
“Chess is a marvelous game. Edward and I have a crystal set on a mahogany board with gold leaf inlay and–”
Dotty pictured Nicole owning a basic glass set on a pine board with faux gold leaf appliques. Maybe it was Nicole’s perfume talking, or maybe Dotty was just overtired. Or both.
“Anyway, so my Dad happily sat down to learn the game Kenny likes. Well, more than likes. Occupies his every waking thought.
“My dad didn’t really know what he was getting into, and his new wife certainly had no idea.”
“That’s right, your dad remarried. It’s sweet.”
“Was sweet.”
“Was?”
“My dad really started enjoying what Kenny was teaching him, really getting into it. His wife...well, she was not, let’s say, having a good time.”
“Weren’t you entertaining your stepmother?”
Dotty rolled her tongue around in her mouth.
“I’m 38 years old, she’s not my stepmother, she’s my dad’s wife. Or was.”
“Was?”
“Well, we were playing the game and–”
“Wait, you were playing too and not entertaining your stepmother?”
“My niece was entertaining…trying to entertain Constance, but her conversation tends toward ab workouts and parkour, so Constance drifted into the game room.”
Nicole’s eyebrows did a disapproving little dance.
“Could you not have invited Constance to play?”
“Constance really isn’t the type to enjoy the game we were playing.”
“What were you playing, strip poker?”
“Yes, Nikki, my 13-year-old son begged his grandfather to learn strip poker. No, of course not. But Constance objected loudly to certain aspects of the game and finally stormed out, got in her car and left my dad behind.”
“Well, my goodness, what game were you playing?”
Dotty squeezed the edges of her seat and thought she just might have a Xanax somewhere in her makeup bag in her purse.
She looked at her computer monitor rather than make eye contact with Nicole.
“We were playing Dungeons and Dragons.”
Dotty snuck a look at Nicole, who had tightened her face into a classic disappointed headmistress expression.
“I’m sorry, Dotty, but as a Christian, I must inform you that nothing good was going to come from engaging in a pagan ritual on the Savior’s birthday.”
Dotty exhaled, reached her mouse with her left hand, and opened her emails. “Well, you asked how my Christmas was. That’s how it was. My dad kept his promise to my son and it looks like he’s headed for divorce number three.”
“Oh, Dotty, the Good Lord willing your father will ask for forgiveness and he and Constance will patch things up.”
“Not likely.’
“I’ll pray on it, Dotty. Who knows, they may have actually reconciled already.”
“Nope, Kenny and his friends and my dad were still playing when I had to leave for work this morning. My dad might be single again, but his grandson is thrilled that his grandfather is a 2nd Level Assassin.”
***
Photo courtesy Getty Images.
The Devil in Dotty's Dad
A realistic Christmas miracle, love it.
What kind of heathen uses a mouse with their left hand?!?