The Man Who Climbs Trees
Living: Consecutive Substack Story 1173
The Merrill cops ordered the man down from the tree.
The man in the tree explained to them that he walked past the sign in the park that said No Alcohol, No Fireworks, All Dogs Must Be Leashed.
Nowhere did it say No Tree Climbing, and frankly, he could recall multiple times he had walked past the park andhad seen beer bottles, Roman Candles and loose dogs.
“If you fall,” a tall cop with a bony face said, “you could hurt yourself badly, and possibly others.”
The man climbed one branch lower.
“There are no parking barriers on the north side of the park. If …“ the man said, the If thick and important, “someone failed to brake or had a medical incident, they could roll into the park where those children are playing soccer.”
“You can come down, walk over to the municipal building and discuss that with parks and rec or city services,” the woman cop said. “But you gotta come down.”
“Children climb the trees in this park.”
“And generally we would prefer they didn’t,” the bony-faced cop said, his face moving rather mechanically. “But they’re kids. There are more of them in this park than us. And they generally come down pretty quickly. Someone said you’ve been sitting up there for hours.”
“I am a man who likes to climb trees,” the man said. “This park has many of them, and I would like to climb most of them. Is there a time limit per tree, or per day, that I can be in the trees?”
The male cop swallowed, the taut skin on his skeletal face creasing, his Adam's apple as mechanical as his other movements.
“When an adult climbs high in a tree, sir,” the woman cop stated, measuring her words, “people become concerned that they may intend to harm themselves.”
The man nodded.
“There are many out there who should conduct their affairs in a way that makes life more pleasant for those around them. They routinely fail to do so. Their concern for their fellow humans should start well before they see one at a potentially lethal height.”
The man climbed yet another branch lower, and the two cops looked at each other, silently pleased that he seemed to be obeying their directive.
The man then swung to a branch on a neighboring tree and began climbing, calling down behind him “ just wave when my time is up on this one.”
The cops said “Sir, you’ve got to-” in unison, but the man was going steadily higher and no longer paying attention to anyone or anything on the ground.
***
I love this.
Individuality is against the law in most societies