20 Comments
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Patris's avatar

Winding down this story several times. First time i saw Josh, needed the second to see Erica and wondered if it was liver failure or a bad habit. Third to be sure Josh made it out alive.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I'm glad you gave it that much attention. Thank you. Josh appreciates it. I don't think Erica knows how.

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Patris's avatar

Ha! She never will I’m guessing.

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Joe's avatar

Read your comment after I wrote mine.

Glad I wasn't the only one that had to keep questioning.

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Patris's avatar

Thinking that’s the sneaky power of a good short story like this - it makes you commit to getting it because you want to know the why

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I love that. As long as they entertain, they are compelling, that's the most important thing

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Patris's avatar

Your superpower, J

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Thanks. That and playing believable psychos. 😎

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Carol Angel's avatar

Erica is desperate for help, she is only existing in the past, Josh needs to not climb that mountain. Way too dangerous in so many ways. He loves the edge of the road.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Erica needs help for sure. And Josh is taking too many risks , physical and emotional.

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V Moire's avatar

Beautiful and painful. I loved it

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Thank you. Amazing what I can do in just a couple hours. Shame so few people appreciate it.

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Joe's avatar

Never sell yourself short.

This story was a masterpiece, a la "Exhibit A".

Many more notice than admit it.

Of course paying the bills ...

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I wish more people would jump into the discussion

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Joe's avatar

Wow.

How you wrote and released this one, I don't know.

It was real.

The pictures in my head kept demanding I start over, from the top as this story played out, a sense of foreboding as it continued.

Each of us has something or someone to cling to, which gives hope.

I'm glad Josh is strong. Wasn't certain he would break that orbit.

Erica needs hope, but is a black hole.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I knew this: I didn't want it to read like a police report. I wanted the confusion inherent to someone volatile you love calling you and your brief encounter going poorly.

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Paul R's avatar

“...then one would take center stage in the EricaOdeon for months at a time, fall into disfavor, and she would call upon one of the others”

Original and insightful, Jimmy! Your ability to juxtapose ideas in unconventional ways is amazing.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Thank you Paul. I always strive for originality, entertainment, thoughtfulness. I'm thrilled it's appreciated by my little gang of merry readers.

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Roger long's avatar

Brilliant! This would make for a great movie short! You are the man, Jimmy! Peace and love, brother.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Thanks Roger! I'd love to get funding to make some of these into movies.

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