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Patris's avatar

Very much illuminated as if by the light of flashbulbs/ black and white snapshot biography of an artist living two distinctly different selves. One praiseworthy the other dark, perhaps truer to himself. The dichotomy of an inspired but tortured life.

Disturbingly brilliant story, like art and humans can be. The dead friend forgiven an acknowledged sin, the subversion of young girls, but not the pain of a public charade maintained in spite of the wild imperfections of the friend he was mourning.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I was coming at it from "guilt by association" and self imposed guilt by association. I think this one could have been a novel too.

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Patris's avatar

Yes it easily could be a novel. Worth expanding- though these short stories hit like a hard, quick slap in the face and maybe a better vehicle.

Guilt by association, yes - though for me the affection for his friend - and what I thought must have been the shock of his death - seemed greater than shame or guilt. Though the specific memory of maybe his ugliest act - impregnating someone as young as a 14 year old - was remembered to rationalize his friend not being worth grieving for. Even then, his agonizing over the loss of the baby cushioned that.

What a complex and powerful piece, J.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Thanks. I really like it though I feel like it could have been better with less distractions. I always feel like that. Hopefully some scholar or someone of some influence will get on a megaphone and say "Look at what this guy has done!" and I can eliminate a few distractions.

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Patris's avatar

I think it’s pretty perfect.

And I also think it’s inevitable that you’ll get that acknowledgment.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I hope it's while I'm still capable of creating quality stories. When that Free Press article ran I needed 80+ new subscribers. I gained 24. It went right back to stagnation after that. None of which is your problem. But I want people who support this to know where it stands.

A writer I thought was thriving on here wrote a lengthy " why am I even bothering" essay today.

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Patris's avatar

I can understand. How maddening it has to be.

But it’s building too - stronger as you go - do you feel it? Developing an already exceptional skill like you have. You must know you’re that good, (and admittedly I’m selfish and love good writing - even great - storytelling). I want you to continue.

Recognition of your work is inevitable and I say that because believe that.

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Patty Mallett's avatar

Doom, you write brilliant stories. I’m sorry that so few people get that.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

So close. So very close. But it also feels like a chasm

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Ben Woestenburg's avatar

Wow man, I liked that one. The layering in it was so subtle. It was just amazing. It was like peeling off the layers of an onion. The sentences were short and crisp. Taut with tension and a mutual history that slowly reveals the character of someone we never meet, and quite frankly, probably don't want to meet. Well done!

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Thanks Ben. It's not paywalled. You can share it. Maybe someone out there in the vast Substack desert will like it too.

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Ben Woestenburg's avatar

I'm sorry, Dude. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm going to cross post it, too. I think my readers would like this. Hopefully you might pick up a couple more.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I deeply appreciate it. Stoked you're going to use space on your own Stack for it. Thank you.

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Ben Woestenburg's avatar

I can't understand why I didn't do it early.

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Ben Woestenburg's avatar

Well Jimmy, it went out to 343 recipients of whom there were 135 "views" and 97 "opens". They're telling me that's a total of 28%. But I like the "New" math. I discount the 343 recipients. I mean, 135 people actually looked at it, and 97 actually read it. Isn't that a better number? That's 71%. Or would you rather factor in the ones who didn't look at it after receiving it and probably deleted it? Personally, I like the 71% because it gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I'm happy when anyone reads it. Thank you

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Colin Devonshire's avatar

Great story, thank you.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Thanks Colin! It felt good from the outset. Share it if you'd like. New eyeballs are always good

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Colin Devonshire's avatar

Will do.

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Joe's avatar

Wow,Jimmy!

I didn't know the guy but wanted to throw up, too.

Incredible story.

The details were amazing; you are so versatile.

Loved that ending.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Thanks J/S. Felt good about this one.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I mean, I didn't feel good about the subject matter but felt like the story had some merit

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Joe's avatar

Likewise.

I'm glad others like it as well.

As I was reading, even though it was very long, it felt like a small chapter of the whole.

But, if it were an entire book, I would not be interested in reading because of the subject.

I loved the negotiation, the common word, the details in the restroom which made me feel I was there because every detail was exactly as it should be.

We can imagine more, if need be.

The author has given enough.

Great job!

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Carol Angel's avatar

Deep and layered, outstanding and so colorful per your story telling! ❤️

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Thanks Carol!

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