23 Comments
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Patty Mallett's avatar

Small town cops. Gotta love them.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I don't " gotta" 🤡

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Long live The Abrasions! Sounds like a fabulous procession. Wish I could have been there. I also wish I could write lines like these:

"Abrasions fans came of voting age and Kurtain wound up running a walleye charter out of Bayville."

“Nilphin had a heart attack yanking the knob on the Kiwanis gumball machine in the lobby,” .

You are a very funny man, Jimmy.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

You can write lines like that. Here's how: Get out of your own head, and imagine dialogue being spoken by real people. Cynics, warm friendly people, people with addiction issues, people who want something. Doesn't matter who. If you need to, go to a neighborhood bar you've never been to and listen to people talk. You absolutely can write those lines.

Thanks. I haven't been on a comedy stage in a while. I miss it all the time but I need a new five minutes.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Here you go, Jimmy. Your reply encouraged me. I wrote this especially for you : (a three-minute read)

Fahrenheit 32

https://sharronbassano.substack.com/p/fahrenheit-32

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I'm at work but I promise I'll read it soon, tonight.

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Carol Angel's avatar

Not sure if this was a parade or a funeral or both but contempt comes from many displaced thoughts.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Definitely a funeral procession that the deceased wished to make more like a parade

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Jim Cummings's avatar

"theme song to the most popular reality show in Norway"

How randomly hilarious!

Love it Jimmy

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Not entirely random. One of my favorite punk bands of all time, Turbonegro, is from Norway

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Reuben Salsa's avatar

Coolest name for a band! The Abrasions!

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I do good band names. George Carlin published a list in one of his books too.

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Luke's avatar

I love the search for an ice cream bar.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

My whole life feels like a metaphorical search for an ice cream bar. 😎

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Joe's avatar

I enjoyed the narration perspective.

It came off as real.

Every other narration perspective I could think of just sounded conceited.

And that's why I let you write 'em.

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James Ron's avatar

I think I heard The Abrasions, with Flipper, at the Mab in S.F. They were good! :) I really enjoyed this story, Jimmy.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

The Abrasions could not have been better than The Toy Dolls when I saw em at The MAB in 84. That's a top 5 show all time. They opened with Spiders in the Dressing Room and the pit was chaos immediately.

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LMK's avatar

What a great mash-up of surrealism and realism.

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V. C. Ackerman's avatar

This seems like the most entertaining funeral procession. I’d love to be a part of it.

The vibe of this reminds me of Jamaican Nine-Nights. Nine-Night is basically a party (or a series of parties) held before a person’s funeral. It’s supposed to just be for family and friends, but lots of random people tend to show up for the free food and fun atmosphere.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I hope mine is fun

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Paul Tuten's avatar

Wow no shit you get paid for this kind of stuff? 😑

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Sorry you hated it. Other people love it. And there are 980+ more stories all over different topics. What do you write?

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Paul Tuten's avatar

I write about my experiences in our self governance. 😐

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