18 Comments
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ARC's avatar

Great story. Reminded me of some of the pool scenes in Hard Rain Falling.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Pool might be underrated. I love it. Darts too but that’s not as lyrical

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Lenny Cavallaro's avatar

Good job with the suspense!

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Thanks. I felt like the pacing was good.

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Lenny Cavallaro's avatar

It DEFINITELY was!

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Ben Woestenburg's avatar

I love that last line! So perfect. Because in all honesty, nobody really knows anyone, do they?

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

No one really knows. We think we have it figured out and we’re all just treading water

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Layne Mercer's avatar

A tale after my own heart. I'm a lifelong student of billiards AND a painter (occasionally of pool hall scenes). As usual, great names that feel totally real. I like bouncing back and forth between the two POVs. Strong finish with the carom!

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I hope you could kinda see where the cue ball was sitting in relation to the 7 and 9. I can shoot pool, I can’t paint worth a damn

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Layne Mercer's avatar

Well, you write like a painter anyway•

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

That’s a great compliment. Thank you

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Joe's avatar

Oh, Jimmy!

You dod it again.

Had me drooling over the details and anticipating the upcoming surprise.

And did you ever surprise.

Wow!

How am I supposed to sleep?

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Try in bed. On your side. One hand under the pillow. I personally like to wear socks but some people think that’s weird. Thanks J/S

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Joe's avatar

Ha!

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Luke's avatar

Well done, Jimmy. The last line really completes the picture.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

When the opportunity presents itself, sometimes you have to slam the heel of your hand on the stapler.

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Andrew Vinstra's avatar

Not sure I got this one actually. Two ships passing in the night? Opportunities lost? What am I missing here?

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Lots of stuff going on. Some of the other comments might give you some clues. But it’s multifaceted

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