I think the world is a far too messed up place to feel guilty because junkies lose their mind. I wish we lived in a world where people didn't feel the need to bake out on crack, but I don't think we're all guilty.
You sound like my husband. I can’t be that abstracted from it though. I believe that exercising kindness is contagious- and I was not always kind. I walked away from human beings that needed more. Maybe that’s it.
[Btw I’ve realized I wait to read your story before I let myself head to bed. Like I look for any poem from one of the poets here - or fear reading Sherman because my heart will break.
It’s a good ritual. Absent the kids and little ones in the house it’s not a bad routine. xx]
Kindness is a wonderful thing and people need more of it. But for people genetically predisposed to addiction ( like me ) to avoid falling into the pit, there needs to be more opportunities to achieve, more outlets, more fulfilling activities. That will never eradicate addiction, but it could strongly mitigate it.
I know it’s a simplistic response on my part, especially as I’ve had personal experience with people caught in addiction from alcohol to heroin. And completely agree with everything you say- so much more needs to be proactively available to give options that are worth following to what seems to be and is such an immense range of people of every age and every niche in society for every kind of reason.
Kindness is a damn good start. I walked out of the store the other night into the middle of a crazy multiethnic disagreement. Yemeni, African American, Albanian, multiple languages being screamed, pretty obvious potential for gun violence. I think " gotta get me out of here"
African American guy yells at me because I think he thought I was another Albanian about to be jumping into it, then he says " oh shit, you're that dude who looks out for Tony" ( one of the homeless men pictured in that Free Press article). "You good man, I got you, get outta here"
I don’t know, Jimmy. I think bones of this story are good, but there was something stiff in the narrative that made it hard to buy. I found myself doubting the story the whole time, I could feel the hand of the writer. It felt too under control, too “written”. The moment he sees the girl, I didn’t feel his reaction. Maybe it could use some more inner dialogue, something that brings us to the moment. Something that expresses his shock, something unhinging…. I feel like you held the story too tight.
He spins away. That's his shock. He spins and looks at the living guy because he needs to see a human. It's right there. Inner dialogue is a construct too. People who see something frightening don't concisely narrate what they see in their head. In fact, there is a subset of humans who don't have any inner dialogue.
He sees a dead child and spins away. I'd say that's not holding the story tight at all. Sorry you didn't like it. Really hard to get them perfect when you publish them every day, and truly, there's no such thing as a perfect story. People agonize over them. I see it on Notes all the time. They tell you it took 3 weeks, 8 pots of coffee and tears. And the finished product just isn't very good.
Thanks for doing what I asked you to do.That's cool and I appreciate it. I'm sure we could pick apart all 1485 of em I've written in 4 years.
Karl and that tiny girl were the only ones who are innocent here. Except that when neglect and ignorance kill, we’re all guilty, aren’t we.
This hit very hard.
I think the world is a far too messed up place to feel guilty because junkies lose their mind. I wish we lived in a world where people didn't feel the need to bake out on crack, but I don't think we're all guilty.
You sound like my husband. I can’t be that abstracted from it though. I believe that exercising kindness is contagious- and I was not always kind. I walked away from human beings that needed more. Maybe that’s it.
[Btw I’ve realized I wait to read your story before I let myself head to bed. Like I look for any poem from one of the poets here - or fear reading Sherman because my heart will break.
It’s a good ritual. Absent the kids and little ones in the house it’s not a bad routine. xx]
Kindness is a wonderful thing and people need more of it. But for people genetically predisposed to addiction ( like me ) to avoid falling into the pit, there needs to be more opportunities to achieve, more outlets, more fulfilling activities. That will never eradicate addiction, but it could strongly mitigate it.
I know it’s a simplistic response on my part, especially as I’ve had personal experience with people caught in addiction from alcohol to heroin. And completely agree with everything you say- so much more needs to be proactively available to give options that are worth following to what seems to be and is such an immense range of people of every age and every niche in society for every kind of reason.
Kindness is a damn good start. I walked out of the store the other night into the middle of a crazy multiethnic disagreement. Yemeni, African American, Albanian, multiple languages being screamed, pretty obvious potential for gun violence. I think " gotta get me out of here"
African American guy yells at me because I think he thought I was another Albanian about to be jumping into it, then he says " oh shit, you're that dude who looks out for Tony" ( one of the homeless men pictured in that Free Press article). "You good man, I got you, get outta here"
Love this. So glad you’re safe. Kindness.
My mom would tell us that the more good you do the more you get back.
(She also said ‘turn the other cheek but if they hit you again, deck ‘‘em’ when sending us to school.)
Gaaawwwddddd!
I'm filing this in the good reviews
Oh, no
Unfortunately yes
What a mess.
Absolutely. Mule leaves daughter with dealer/junkie. Never good
OMG.
This is a great review. Thank you
Just kick me in the nuts.
I love keyboard kicks
I love the intensity of this one.
This should leave me devastated, but it’s too well written.
I don’t know, Jimmy. I think bones of this story are good, but there was something stiff in the narrative that made it hard to buy. I found myself doubting the story the whole time, I could feel the hand of the writer. It felt too under control, too “written”. The moment he sees the girl, I didn’t feel his reaction. Maybe it could use some more inner dialogue, something that brings us to the moment. Something that expresses his shock, something unhinging…. I feel like you held the story too tight.
He spins away. That's his shock. He spins and looks at the living guy because he needs to see a human. It's right there. Inner dialogue is a construct too. People who see something frightening don't concisely narrate what they see in their head. In fact, there is a subset of humans who don't have any inner dialogue.
He sees a dead child and spins away. I'd say that's not holding the story tight at all. Sorry you didn't like it. Really hard to get them perfect when you publish them every day, and truly, there's no such thing as a perfect story. People agonize over them. I see it on Notes all the time. They tell you it took 3 weeks, 8 pots of coffee and tears. And the finished product just isn't very good.
Thanks for doing what I asked you to do.That's cool and I appreciate it. I'm sure we could pick apart all 1485 of em I've written in 4 years.
That’s a lot of ink, man! Ok, ok… it’s justified… but I just didn’t feel him as much as some of your other work.