31 Comments
User's avatar
Steve's avatar

Whiffs reminds me of Ginny's.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Never been to Ginny's

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Steve's avatar

I'm glad I had the experiences of a few places like that, but in hindsight I probably could have done without.

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Jim Latham's avatar

Great last line.

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Patty Mallett's avatar

Yes, it is.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

You mean a swing and a miss or it smells or?

I predicted to a friend that at best 33% of readers would like this one

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Patty Mallett's avatar

I liked it!

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Tony LeHoven's avatar

Part of what I like about Substack is the ability to communicate directly with the author. That said, I’m slightly confused about the last line.

Oh god, oh, oh, oh my god.” Stephanie looked up at him.

“May I kiss you?”

Sean looked down at Stephanie.

“No.”

Is Sean asking her the question then looking down at her? It seems out of character for him. Jimmy, you usually end the story with three***. Am I missing something? or, if it’s Stephanie saying “may I kiss you“ wouldn’t that line be attached to the previous sentence?

I’m wanting to grok!

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Stephanie asks Sean. He says no.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I'm in the middle of a busy work shift otherwise we could discuss it further and deeper. I hope generally that clears it up.

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Carol Angel's avatar

For me I can’t relate but I stayed glued to the end!

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

That's a win

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Joe's avatar

The stranger and weirder things are, the more grateful I am to be unsophisticated.

The older I get, the more I crave the simple life, as I've discovered the only truth in sophistry is sophistry.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

It's impossible for me to have a simple life, but I'm trying to discard a few complications.

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scottyG's avatar

I love this one, Jimmy. You kept the suspense going so well. I love the line “Thrills and terror argued at the base of her spine.”

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Thanks Scott. I could feel the tension myself. Guess I subconsciously remember what it was like going to a new after hours club where somebody knew somebody who kinda knew somebody's cousin and maybe they'd let us in.

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scottyG's avatar

🤣

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User's avatar
Anonymous
Feb 21, 2023

I wanna go! Ha! This was great!!

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

Thanks! Let's make a Clunk. If we can afford Meatwood Flack

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User's avatar
Anonymous
Feb 21, 2023

Ha! Deal!

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Jim Cummings's avatar

If I was ever going to start a band, I'd let you name it.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I've named a few. I think Peter Torque lasted the longest

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Jim Cummings's avatar

That's hilarious!

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Carol Angel's avatar

Crazy, but I love his alleys he takes us down and you do too!

Thanks

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David's avatar

Another fireball story that gets to the gut and heart of the matter. Jimmy, got a exchange idea, how best to contact you?

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V. C. Ackerman's avatar

“Who was the best looking Beatle?” “Tom Waits.” As a Tom Waits fan, this part made me laugh.

I always like the idea of being a part of a secret or exclusive club. Mostly because it just seems cool. Like having access to a super villain’s underground lair or a hide out for spies, but something that’s real and accessible if you have the connections to go there. But I don’t leave my house enough to be a member of places like that.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I've been a member of a few of those places, some thrilling, many absolutely overrated.

I'd love to get Waits to narrate one of these stories.

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V. C. Ackerman's avatar

It would be AMAZING if Tom Waits were to narrate one of your stories! He has an incredible voice. He once narrated "Nirvana" by Charles Bukowski and it sounds so good.

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Jimmy Doom's avatar

I know a ton of people in the music business but don't have any connections to Waits.

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Lisa Frederick's avatar

bestiality trial and drink bingo! Brilliant!

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